Why Aren’t You Successful??

“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.”

Why aren’t you successful yet??

An even more important question.

Why the fuck aren’t you working towards your goals?? Why the fuck aren’t you chasing your dreams??

What is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself??

Excuses, excuses, excuses :

Com’on bitch this is 2020, your same old 2016 excuse won’t work now. You’ve been busted. We aren’t fools, we know those aren’t “reasons”… you also know those aren’t “reasons”

We know those are just dumbass lame stories you tell yourself to avoid guilt and to help you sleep at night.

Do you feel personally attacked?? Well, I’m sorry I’ll try to rip off the band-aid a little more gentle next time. But seriously if you feel personally attacked then you gotta change something in your life. You gotta get off your ass and start workin.

I don’t care who are you or where you’re from but I know “what is keeping you from achieving greatness” is total bullshit.

I know that you think your reasons why you aren’t successful are “valid” but guess what?? They’re not. Maybe you don’t have the resources or time yet but what I’m sure of is that there is something that you can do right now to get you closer to your goals. There is one little motherfucken step that you can take today.

What is the fucken next thing you can take today that’ll get you closer to your goals.

Baby, there are a million excuses why you can’t do something. Baby, I know that it seems like you’re stuck and you can’t work around your situation to follow your dreams. Baby, you can work around the situation.

Do you feel like you can’t be a YouTuber because you don’t have a camera?? Bitch, use your phone.

Do you feel like you can’t write because you don’t have a laptop?? Bitch, use your phone.

Do you feel like you can’t be a blogger because you can’t afford to purchase a site?? Bitch, use your phone. Oh, I’m sorry I meant. Bitch, use a free plan like the rest of the peasants.

Feel the fear and do it anyway :

I didn’t know I was supposed to babysit adults who are scared to go after what they want but since the job is here I can’t turn it down.

Dove Cameron while playing the role of Liv on Liv and Maddie once said, “if your dreams don’t scare you then you’re not dreaming big enough.”

I’m a Disney fan okay, get over it!!

You are not an asshole for being scared of failure or success or both but letting that be the reason why you’re still the struggling graduate who is afraid of looking for a job or following their dreams makes you a dick.

We all get sometimes get scared but if we let fear drive our lives then we would never go anyway because fear is a really bad driver, I mean the worst driver ever.

Feel the fear and do it anyway!!

You are not that special :

“I am unique…but then so is everybody else.”

Geez!! What a bummer. So, I’m not special??

This may be a very hard pill to swallow especially after I’ve told you many times that you are really special but truth is, you are not.

Your problems are not so unique. I’m not trying to invalid your problems or anything but “not having enough money” is not something special that is only happening to you. You can’t boast about that or say that the “reason” you are not going after your dreams is because you don’t have enough money.

There are millions if not billions of reasons why you aren’t achieving your goals but there are always ways to go after your dreams.

Don’t be one of those people who complain about their circumstance but do absolutely nothing to change it. Don’t be those people who shrug their shoulders and say “well, there’s nothing I can do about it”

Stop making excuses and just get off your ass and do it already.

We’re all just people doing our best with what we’ve got.

I’mma leave you with this :

“Don’t downgrade your dreams to fit your reality, instead upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.”

Don’t Give Up On Your Dreams!!

“Success comes to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

Don’t give up on your dreams. Hold on to your dreams. Never let them fade, never let them go. Believe in them.

Let your dreams fuel you, let them give you energy.

Work on your dreams consistently. Everyday, try to get closer to living your dream life. I know that it may seem far and unattainable but you if you believe in it enough it will come true. Don’t limit yourself and don’t stand in your own way.

When things get tough don’t give up not because the darkest hour is before dawn but because failure, challenges and tough times build your character and strength. They give you a great success story. Failure will make you appreciate your success very much.

When hard times hit remember that one day when you’re older you’re going to look back at this exact moment and be glad that you didn’t give up and be glad that you stayed and overcame this problem.

Successful people are people who refused to give up on their dreams. Even in hard times they held onto their dreams through it all.

Never believe someone who tells you that your dreams are too out there or that you don’t have what it takes to achieve them. Always remember that the people who tell you that you can’t reach your goals already gave up on theirs.

I want you to :

✳️ Promise yourself that you won’t give up on your dreams. In fact comment, “I’ll never give up on my dreams, no matter what” down below.

✳️ Know it’s worth it. Know that your dreams are worth it.

✳️ Remember that every expert was once a beginner. Know that the people who you perceive as successful all started out clueless just like you. They all started with a dream just like you.

✳️ Use other people’s success stories as inspiration. I mean if they started with what you have and where you are and worked their way up then you can definitely do it as well.

✳️ Believe that you can achieve anything you put your mind to because you really can.

✳️ Trust that you’re on the right path. Trust your struggles.

✳️ Be patient, don’t give up because it’s taking too much time. Time is already passing.

I was going to use the meme above to inspire you but I found out that the meme is actually fake and that back in the day Coca Cola was not even sold in a bottles (do not trust everything you see online). I wonder who started this lie?? How did it become so famous??

Even if Coca Cola didn’t only sell 25 bottles in it’s first year but the fact remains the same it wasn’t this popular and relevant.

I’m going to leave you guys with this :

“Don’t give up on your dreams, it’s hard to wait but it’s even harder to regret.”

This Is Not What Self-Care Looks like :

Unsplash picture by Spencer Davis.

If you’ve ever been on YouTube long enough then you are probably familiar with the word, “self-care”.

Upon mentioning the word self-care you probably imagined a person doing skincare, you know putting on a face mask or doing her nails or taking a bubble bath with soft music on the background, scented candles and a good book (I so need that right now).

Unsplash by Safia

Self-care is not exactly that. That is self-maintenance.

Glamourous Self-Care

Self-care is not as glamorous as YouTubers make it seem. It’s not so nice and bubbly and peaceful. Most of the time self-care is not so enjoyable and it’s mostly messy.

The glamourous self-care is often filled with material objects that you need to purchase in order to have that Pinterest looking self-care day. Gee, I wonder why??

Unsplash picture by Heidi.

I used to think that self-care needs to look pretty and peaceful and insta worthy. I used to think that relaxing in front of a TV and watch a two hour with a bowl of snacks was self-care. (Want to know a secret, it’s not) that’s self-indulgence.

What Is REAL Self-Care??

Selfcare is any activity that we  deliberately do in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health.

Real self-care does not look amazing, it’s not always video worthy or pic worthy. It’s not Pinterest looking.

Unsplash picture by Logan Weaver.

Real self-care is putting energy into proactively supporting the version you’d like to become.

Self-care is doing something that’ll benefit you in the long run. It’s doing something that’ll help you physically, mentally or emotionally.

Sometimes real self-care doesn’t feel like you’re taking care of yourself at all. Sometimes it’s scary but in the long run it always pays out.

Self-care includes things like setting boundaries, speaking up when those boundaries are broken (sounds scary), working out (sounds difficult), getting outside your comfort zone (please! Please! Put me out of this misery), cleaning your space (sounds like hard work), asking for help when you need (gee, I still have my pride).

See, it’s all cupcakes and roses.

Ways You Can Take Care Of yourself :

✳️ DON’T SELF-INDULGE TOO MUCH :

Unsplash picture by Jeshoots

I know how lovely spending most of your days in the same outfit, in the same couch with lots of food and wifi sounds. Honestly, if given the chance I would kill to spend most of my days like that.

Be honest with yourself, how do you feel after doing all those things?? Do you feel amazing and fulfilled and productive??

Now look, I know that self-indulgence can be good for you and feel amazing once in a while but it mustn’t be something that you spend most of your time doing. Draw the line between self-care and self-indulgence.

✳️ PRIORITISE YOUR FUTURE SELF :

Self-care is mostly about prioritising your future self. It’s about envisioning your future best self and taking action to be them.

Prioritising your future self is really thinking about your future self and finding what you can you do now that your future self will appreciate. This then leads you to do tasks with delayed gratification such as working out or studying.

Start doing small things in your daily life that your future self will appreciate, not your five years older future self but your one hour older or twenty four years older future self.

Small things like picking an outfit the day before, ironing your outfit in advance. Start doing things that’ll make your future self’s life a little better. That right there is self-care.

✳️ EXPERIMENT :

Self-care is not a one size fits all game. What works for someone else might not work for you. Don’t be afraid to try new things in order to find your thing.

✳️ SELF-CARE IS MESSY :

Waking up at 4am everyday is not a piece of cake, burning your butt out daily with workouts is not sexy, breaking down sometimes is not cute.

Sometimes it’s just not cute, okay. It’s just not insta worthy.

✳️ DON’T WAIT TO BURN OUT :

Don’t wait to hit rock bottom and to not be able to get out of bed to start taking care of yourself. Don’t wait for your mind to be a battle field before you actually start considering looking after you. Start now, find ways in which you can incorporate self-care in your life and do it.

✳️ CHOOSE YOURSELF :

You knew this was coming. The biggest clichè in self-development. Be yourself everybody else is already taken.

I feel so unoriginal writing this. I mean like ewhh!!

Ewww!! I feel so unoriginal writing this.

At least I didn’t say “be yourself” or “do you” but honestly, do you. Put yourself first and always choose you.

There’s a reason it called “self” care not “others” care.

Thanks for reading. Remember to take care of yourself. I love you♥️♥️

Work Smart Not Hard :

“Being busy doesn’t mean being productive.”

I have a really great story to tell you :

“Two dudes robbed a bank. They ran away because why would they stop? They basically got away with the robbery (I think). They went to their house, which I assume was a one room apartment (because duh!). One of them said, “hey bro let’s count this cash.” The other one replied and said, “Let’s just turn on the news, they’ll tell us how much we stole.”

And no I didn’t write this story, I mean I wrote it but it’s not from my head.

My point is I know you’re probably thinking that because I’m so creative I came up with this story to make you laugh and also teach you a lesson but guys, it’s not me. This is one of those stories that have been retold many, many times that we don’t even know who the original author is.

Anyways if you didn’t laugh after reading the story, read it again and repeat until you laugh.

I just realized I didn’t call them thieves, probably because one of them is super smart (that is debatable).

A lot of people would probably think that the second guy is lazy and doesn’t want to do any hard work but I actually think that they’re smart and I hope they took his advice.

The other one is a hard worker and the other one is a smart worker. If they ended up watching the news like my dude suggested they would save a lot of time and energy. They can then use this extra time to do something more important like disappearing.

Working hard and working long hours doesn’t necessarily mean that you are being productive and that you’re actually achieving more than anyone who works less hours.

It’s okay if you’re not always working. It’s okay if you’re not always “busy” but what’s most important is being effective. Being able to get the task done at the required moment. What’s important is prioritising your tasks and making the most of your time.

Finding ways to do the task faster and often times better doesn’t make you lazy. Skipping sleep to work doesn’t automatically make you more productive.

It’s important to sharpen the sow and take rests some times. It’s important to take breaks and recharge so that you can produce even better results.

So yah! Turns out I’m not better than you after all (If you get the joke I absolutely adore you).

“Being busy doesn’t mean being productive.”

“I’m Always Busy” so I’m BETTER Than you!!

Picture by Robert from Unsplash

Oh!! You thought this was going to be an article full of excuses of why I haven’t posted in a such a long time?? I’m so sorry disappoint you but this isn’t about me, it’s about you.

Hunny sit down, we need to talk, or maybe you should just listen.

If you’re not always working then you’re not a hard worker. Which means that you’re lazy and you’re a slacker. If you are not busy with anything in your life right now then girl/boy/anybody in between, you don’t have a life.

Successful people are always busy. They’re always working on something. They sleep six hours a day, they don’t watch TV, they don’t have cellphones or any other electronic devices and they eat only once a day to save time.

I know exactly what you’re thinking (because I’m psychic), you’re thinking :

“Oh my gosh Avuma!! How are you so smart? How do you know all of this?” (Read this in a really annoying voice).

Well, the truth is I’m one of those successful individuals. (Don’t ask me where I’m writing this if I don’t have a cellphone or any other electronic device).

The truth is I’m always working, always. I never sit down and take a moment to breathe. I’m always on the go. That right there, makes me successful.

I know that I usually take five more hours to complete a task than the average person but hey, I’m always working and that is what counts. I know that I’ll probably be working all day, I mean all day but complete nada by the end of the day but again I’m always working.

I don’t really have a strategy whatsoever for the day and I’m not really “productive” and I don’t use my time wisely but I’m standing here, actually I’m sitting here today to remind you that I’m better than you. I’m better than you because I’m always working.

*********Friendly reminder to** *********fix your posture*******

People also agree that I’m better than you literally because I’m always working. They tell you to be more like me. They make you feel bad for not always working. They always tell me that I’m a hard worker although I never actually get anything done.

You may have a schedule for your day, you may work on the things that actually matter, you may accomplish a lot more than me but I’m still better than you and people agree with me.

The most important thing is, you don’t work all the time and I do so that makes me better than you.

Thank you guys for reading till the end and if you’re going to take anything from this article remember this, I’m better than you because I’m always working.

And do me a favour, stop spreading the “work smart not hard” bullsh*t.

REAL TALK ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH :

“Mental health!? There’s no such thing.”

WTF is depression?”

“So you’re telling me that a person just magically gets depressed for no apparent reason.”

“Why would anyone get anxious because of this?… It’s not like she’s doing it for the first time.”

Mental health jokes, am I right?? Totally hysterical.

Seriously though, let’s talk about this extremely scary topic… Mental health.

I was ready to open up to my roommates and like casually talk to them about my mental health and also see if they are not dealing with any issues. I just wanted connection and acceptance and maybe help them get through whatever they were dealing with.

So I just straight on asked, “So guys, what do you think of mental health?” Everybody went dead silent. “What do you think of depression and people dealing with depression?” I backed up my question to make it easier and maybe get an answer. “I don’t know.” Somebody finally answered, uncomfortably. Everybody was getting more uncomfortable by the minute but I was determined to talk about this. “So, none of you guys know what depression is?” I asked impatiently and curiously. “I guess I do know what depression is, I just don’t believe it exists.” Somebody said rather confidently.

I tried to keep calm after this comment and continued to ask them simple questions that made them uncomfortable. They ended up saying very stupid and sad things about people suffering from mental health issues like how they’re weak, like attention, are crazy and broken and why they shouldn’t seek therapy. These comments really hurt me because I’m one of those broken, attention seeking, crazy and weak people and all I wanted was connection.

I know that they’re speaking from a place of poor knowledge and pure judgement that they absorbed from the community but damn…

I still don’t understand. I know that we are not taught this at school and when they do teach us they pass down the judgement. I know that nobody talks about mental illnesses, like ever. I get, I really do but I don’t. I offered them a lecture on mental illnesses but nobody wanted to change their mind.

This was not the first time that this happened because literally whenever I try to talk to someone about what I’m feeling I get turned down and end up feeling worse.

I don’t know how these people still don’t know about mental illnesses because they spend like all of their time on their cellphones but they never really take the time to educate themselves. I mean, I’m just like them except I educated myself on these topics, also experienced my fair share of mental problems.

All I’m asking is for people to be a little more open minded, just a little. To educate themselves on important topics and to normalize talking about our feelings. I expected a lot more from people, I expected them to care and be kind because I kinda figured we’re teenagers and we all go through this stuff.

I don’t know, was I expecting too much?? Am I asking for too much??

Thanks for listening.

Inspirational Quotes For Monday Blues :

Happy Monday everybody!!! I hope you had an amazing weekend and I hope you’ll have an even more amazing week.

To help you with big old Monday Blues I’m going to share my favourite inspirational quotes with you today.

🌈 “It’s not about what you harvest but what you plant.”

🌈 “The best helping hand you’ll ever find is the one at the end of your arm.”

🌈 “Successful people give you results, the rest give you reasons.”

🌈 “Do not accept your limitations as facts.”

🌈 “Wealth and success have little to do with resources and a lot to do with the mindset.”

🌈 “Whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you.”

🌈 “A strong woman looks a challenge in the eye and gives it a wink.”

🌈 “Know your worth, then add tax.”

🌈 “Never limit yourself because of others’ imagination.”

🌈 “If they say it’s impossible remember that it’s impossible for them, not you.”

🌈 “A woman who knows what she brings to the table is not afraid to eat alone.”

🌈 “The way to get started is to quit talking and start doing.”

🌈 “Work hard to get what you want otherwise you’ll be forced to just like what you get.”

🌈 “Confidence has no competition.”

🌈 “Be a woman in business not a woman in everyone’s business.”

🌈 “Making mistakes is better be than faking perfection.”

🌈 “I’m tough, ambitious and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.”

🌈 “Light yourself on fire with passion and people will come from miles to watch you burn.”

🌈 “I don’t really like to gamble but if there’s one thing I can bet on, it’s MYSELF!!”

You know how much quotes are shared and shared and posted and written down. And when you find your favourite quote you quickly write it down without the original author of the quote because well, you don’t know the original author. Yeah, that’s pretty much what happened.

Anyways… Thank you so much for reading. I love you a lot♥️♥️♥️ and I wish you an amazing week. Now, go light yourself up.

What If You Got Everything You Ever Wanted ??

Slowly close your eyes and imagine. I’m kidding, this article wants you to read it.

Imagine a life where you can get everything you’ve always wanted with a snap of a finger. A life where all dreams come true with no amount of work needed whatsoever.

Imagine that everything that you need and want will come to you the second you want it. If you want it you’ve got, want a new house, you’ve got it. Loving partner, she’s yours. You can have as much money as you want. The perfect guy will be there when you want him to.

That means you won’t fail nor success because getting what you want when you want it is not considered, “success”.

You won’t have anything to look forward to. You won’t have to chase anything. And what do you mean life is journey?? I mean I can get anything I want right now.

Life would be boring and meaningless. That whole thing would suck the fun and magic out of life. I know it would probably be amazing at first but then what??

So, appreciate your life and embrace your struggles. Look forward to the quest of life.

“Life is a journey, not a destination.”

⭐Thank you for listening.

♥️ Let’s be friends ♥️

‼️Twitter :
    Avuma Flatela (@g_teenlife)
https://twitter.com/g_teenlife?s=03

‼️Instagram :

https://www.instagram.com/invites/contact/?i=4pxys78n9fm&utm_content

‼️Email :
gteenlife01@gmail.com

 Shop 
https://www.yaga.co.za/avuma-flatela

✳️ Is Complimenting Yourself Arrogant?✳️

“I am beautiful, strong, patient.”

“I really love my outfit.”

“My body is so darn cute.”

Imagine saying all the above statements in a room full of people. Now imagine their reaction to your “compliments”

I used to consider myself modest. Probably the most modest person in the world. I never uttered a word about my brilliant listening skills, my ability to stay calm in a terrible situation nor my amazing grades or good looks. Modesty was my number one value.

There came a certain point in my life where I had rethink all this through, “why I valued modesty so much”

And by a certain point in life, I mean a lot of people in my life started to brag and boast about their achievement. They started to flex so much I couldn’t take it anymore.

In my “rethinking” I found that when I was little. A certain teacher in my class told us that we should never, ever utter a compliment directed to ourselves. “Even if you know you’re good at something, wait for others to compliment you.” She said. As a very obedient student, I took her words to my heart.

The million dollar question still stands :

Is Complimenting yourself arrogant?

As a very introverted observer I’ve noticed something. I don’t about guys but this is very popular with girls : Puting yourself down.

(a girl walks in the bathroom, stares at her reflection and goes…)

” I look so ugly, I look like a sack of potatoes.”

The others either ignore her or reply…

” You’re beautiful, you don’t look like a sack of potatoes.”

Seldomly they’ll say…

” Now that you mention it, you’re right. You do look like a sack of potatoes.”

Now my point here is… If girls or guys ( again, I don’t know) can put themselves down loudly in front of other people and people won’t be up in their case then why can’t we compliment ourselves loudly in front of other people.

We shouldn’t wait for them to validate our abilities. We compliment people love and we love ourselves. So hunny boo if you feel like showering yourself with compliments in front of people do so. In fact I dare you to leave 3 things you love about yourself in the comments below.

What is arrogance?

Arrogance is having excessive pride in oneself with contempt or disrespect for others.

Being arrogant is walking into a room and thinking that you’re better than other people. Complimenting yourself is just acknowledging yourself and your skills as you would acknowledge any person.

Example :

Compliment :

🏆My make up looks bomb today.

🏆 I wrote this really great romance novel.

🏆 I am super pretty.

Arrogance :

🏆 My make up looks bomber than yours.

🏆 My romance novel is the best on the website.

🏆 I am the prettiest girl in school.

As you can see above arrogance is about comparing yourself to others and then thinking you’re better.

So NO complimenting your self out loud in front of people is not arrogant it’s totally acceptable. In fact I recommend that you do it if you’re brave enough.

Don’t wait for people to validate you.

And if your friend thinks you should keep your compliments in your head then maybe she should ask you to also keep the compliments you have for her in your head too.

Now about the dare, are you brave enough??

⭐ Thanks for listening ⭐

♥️ Let’s be friends ♥️

‼️Twitter :
    Avuma Flatela (@g_teenlife)
https://twitter.com/g_teenlife?s=03

‼️Instagram :

https://www.instagram.com/invites/contact/?i=4pxys78n9fm&utm_content

‼️Email :
gteenlife01@gmail.com

 Shop 
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You Are Your Own Hero :

Unsplash picture by TK Hammonds

Raise your hand if your like movies.

Raise your hand if you’ve noticed that in these movies characters don’t just figure things out themselves, they always need people in the picture, external factors. Or they need to be rescued from a situation by a “hero”. They don’t usually rescue themselves.

Now raise your hand if you didn’t click this article to read about movies.

I know you are no iron Man and that you don’t have any super powers or you think you don’t.

What if I tell you that you do. What if I tell you that I’m from another Galaxy and I know that you have super powers. You have telekinesis, so try it. You see that glass, over there. You can move it without touching it. Cool right??

Enough with the jokes but seriously you won’t know until you try.

You Are Your Own Hero :

“A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom.”

Once in a while in life,you face difficulties. You want to give up and just throw away the towel. You feel stuck once in a while and you wish that someone, something can save you because it’s too difficult. You don’t have the necessary power or set of skills to overcome the problem.

You wish for a miracle to just fall upon on and fix everything for you. I hate it to break it to you but there is no fairy godmother who is ready to wave a wand and make all your problems disappear. You also can’t wish your problems away.

There is one thing you can do though. Suck it up, own it and change it. Those are the things that are in your control and that you can do. Your future is not decided for. You determine your future by the choices you make.

The world doesn’t owe you anything.

I know that you are a good person, probably. I know that you do not litter and you always say please but that doesn’t mean that the world owes you for your kindness. Sure you don’t deserve the bad things that happen to you but none of us do.

Stop complaining, that won’t solve anything. Take full responsibility for your life and know that your future is in your hands.

“Eventually we have to all accept full and total responsibility for our actions. Everything that we have and have not done.”

Stop waiting for someone, for something to come and smoothen life for you. You can do that for yourself. You’ve got this. You are the hero in this story.