One of the things that I learnt this year was that your love language is different from your self-love language. How you receive and give love to others is not the same way that you give love to yourself.

Let me back up a bit here, maybe you are not even familiar with the love languages that I’m talking about.

According to Dr Gary Chapman, there are five primary ways that we express love :

1. Words of affirmation
2. Receiving gifts
3. Quality time
4. Physical touch
5. Acts if service

Self-love languages are the above primary ways but this time they are how you feel loved by yourself. How you feel loved by others will be different from how you want to receive love from yourself.

You can take a self-love language quiz here and then you can put those results into action.

My love languages :

My primary love language is acts of services, when someone randomly does something nice for me without me asking them. It’s just uhhhh, it makes me want to just marry them at the spot. I mean little things like holding the door open for me or helping me carry groceries. My secondary love language is receiving gifts, a well thought out, genuine gift is the way to my heart. I love receiving gifts, not just any gifts but meaningful ones.

I am not a big fan of the other three love languages, okay a little bit of physical touch will not hurt anyone. A warm hug from a good friend, a kiss on the forehead and a little bit of cuddling is nice once in a while I guess.

Words of affirmation & quality time are at the bottom of the list.

My Self-love languages :

My primary self-love language is, drumroll please… quality time. Spending quality time with myself is how I feel my love the most. Spending time alone talking to myself is totally blissful. It’s totally amazing.

Loving myself through my self-love language to me means, spending time alone, taking morning walks alone, reading, working on my blog, journaling, watching a movie by myself.

I would argue that we should show love to ourselves using all the five love languages. Okay maybe with emphasis on the ones that you prefer the most but also incorporate all other love languages.

That is why I show myself love in every single love language there is and I highly recommend that you do as well.

How To Love Yourself According To Your Love Language :

●Physical touch : Honoring your body with things that make you feel good and prioritizing your physical wellbeing.

1. Taking a warm, long shower.
2. Massage
3. Exercising, doing yoga or dancing.
4. Incorporating a skincare routine.
5. Wearing comfortable clothes and wrapping yourself in a soft blanket.

● Quality time : Spending uninterrupted time alone to nurture your being. Spending time o your hobbies and doing the things that you love.

1. Working on your hobbies and passion projects.
2. Taking yourself out on a date.
3. Journaling
4. Reading or watching something
5. Meditating or doing introspection.
6. Taking walks or spending time in nature

● Acts of services : Doing something for yourself that will make your life easier.

1. Doing something that your future self will thank you for.
2. Preparing a nourishing meal for yourself.
3. Attending therapy
4. Setting goals and smashing them.
5. Planning, organizing, scheduling, delegating and showing up.

● Receiving gifts : Treating yourself to gifts that spark joy.

1. Invest in your business or hobbies.
2. Buy yourself something you’ve wanted for a long time.
3. Take yourself shopping.
4. Spend money on things that make you happy.

● Words of affirmation : Positive self-talk, practicing gratitude towards yourself and encouraging yourself.

1. Give yourself compliments.
2. Keep an appreciation journal where you jot down everything you’re proud of yourself for.
3. Speak kindly to yourself.
4. Give yourself pep talks.
5. Use affirmations.
6. Tell yourself you love you.

Now go show yourself some love. Stay amazing and curious 💕💕