Avuma Flatela

What is your greatest accomplishment??

When I reflect back on my life to try to get the answer to this question I find myself going back to an achievement that people consider the most magnificent achievement in my life. At the tender age of 13 years I took  the stage in front of thousands of people in a language competition where I debated my heart out and won a trip to Cape Town, five thousand rands, a tablet and my first flight.

I agree that winning that competition was one of my most significant milestones but to call it my greatest achievement would be lying to myself. The truth is, my greatest accomplishment is not as grand and jaw dropping. It is something very subtle yet the most important thing in my life, my relationship with myself.

Having a type A personality and always feeling like you have to do more and be more, being at peace with yourself is priceless. I have worked hard to make myself home for myself. To make being with myself feel safe and warm. I have battled a lot of challenges to get where I am today. I had to overcome depression and feeling not good enough. I had to learn to comfort myself when I’m down and to celebrate with myself. I had to learn to shut the voice inside my head that tells me that I am unworthy. I had to let go of what people thought about me and try to focus on what makes me me.

Nowadays, my relationship with myself feels like a warm blanket on a winter night. It feels like sunscreen on a hot Beach day, it feels red roses on Valentine’s day. It feels comforting and reassuring.

It looks like telling myself that I am beautiful every morning. Hugging my knees in the middle of the night when my heart has been torn into pieces. Picking myself back up when I fail and believing that I will do better next time.

My relationship with myself can seem non existent to the outsider’s eye but it is there. It is the reason I can love as much as I do. The reason for my empathy and kindness. It is the reason for my resilience and the reason I can say to myself, “Everything is going to be okay, I promise.”

Photo credit : I don’t know…

3 comments

  1. Nice one… I now realize that greatest accomplishments doesn’t necessarily have to be a big thing but something that will mean alot to you and inspire you to be great person. You mentioned depression so what caused you depression and how you dealt with it.

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    • You know when you have only thing attached to your identity. Well my identity was attached to school and the marks I got. When I begin losing that. I lost a sense of self and got “depressed”. I say ” depressed” cause I didn’t see a psychologist or psychiatrist about it.

      I started my self-development journey. YouTube helped a lot. I created a new identity. I started meditating, journalling, blogging and other random things I no longer do.

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