“Oh no! I’m sorry… I’m so so sorry”

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault”

“No it’s totally my fault, I shouldn’t have done that. I’m so sorry, so sorry”

“Oh wow! You apologise a lot.”

“… I’m sorry”

Do you have a tendency of having a conversation similar to the above way too much? Do you take blame for a lot things that aren’t even your fault? Do you try to sneak the word “sorry” in all your conversations?

Are you the first to “oh, I’m sorry” when a stranger bumps into you on the road and spills your R100 coffee on your R2000 coat??

Okay, I’m going to stop asking you questions now but if you can relate to the scenarios above then you’ve got a serious problem but don’t worry I’m here to help with it.

The ability to say the words “I’m sorry” without feeling like something just died inside you is sweet and it’s a very noble thing to do. Taking my very good advice and being responsible enough to apologise when you’re wrong is well… So responsible of you.( If you don’t know what I’m talking about check out the rest of my posts and you’ll understand) . Apologising when you’re wrong and always apologising are two different things.

What’s so wrong with over apologising??

I’m glad you asked fellow reader. Here are a few things that are wrong with saying “I’m sorry” way too much :

✳️ You’ll lose respect :

According to a 2019 article written by John Hall based on the book “The Power of an Apology,” written by Beverly Engels, a psychotherapist. Beverly says that over apologising isn’t very different from over complimenting : You may think that you’re portraying yourself as a nice and caring person, but actually you’re sending the message that you lack confidence and you’re ineffectual.

Beverly further said that :

“It can even give a certain kind of person permission to treat you poorly, or even abuse you.”

✳️ Your apologies lose value :

Let’s face it, when you apologise way too much you become the girl/guy who’s always sorry. It is needless to say that your apologies lose weight. They become meaningless because you’re always throwing “sorry” around.

✳️ It can be a sign of self-esteem issues :

The ones who are too quick to throw an apology or apologize unnecessarily usually have self-esteem problems. I really don’t need to bring in a scientific research or study into this because we both know that it’s a true. People who lack confidence and don’t believe in themselves tend to say “I’m sorry” way too much because subconsciously they feel like they need to be. They feel like they need to apologise for their feelings or for bugging others with their existence. They already feel ashamed of themselves and they feel guilty for almost everything. They feel like everything is their fault. That they shouldn’t have done this… Or that.

They’ll approach their boss’s office and immediately say ” I’m sorry to bother you Mr Smith, I’m really sorry, I know that I shouldn’t be here but I think I have a solution to our financial problems.”

OR

They’ll say to the waitress : “I’m very sorry Ms… Meghan I know that you work really hard and you’re tired and I’m honestly extremely sorry to bother you with this but you brought me the wrong order. Again, I’m so sorry Ms Meghan to bother you. “

There you have it folks apologising is good but over apologising is just bad. This isn’t over. On Monday, same place I’ll be bringing you an article on what to say instead of “I’m sorry.”

Thank you so much for reading and “I’m sorry” for keeping you here this long. ( You’ll probably get this joke the 100th time you read this article).

“Never apologise for being you”

❤️ Let’s be friends ❤️

Instagram :https://www.instagram.com/invites/contact/?i=4pxys78n9fm&utm_content

Twitter :

Avuma Flatela (@g_teenlife)
https://twitter.com/g_teenlife?s=03

Email : gteenlife01@gmail.com

🖤 Please buy something 🖤

https://www.yaga.co.za/avuma-flatela