What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

Hello everybody, welcome. I hope you are having a wonderful day with lots of smiles and laughter. If not, I hope you’ll have a better day tomorrow.

One of the things that made me grow in life was getting an average mark on a maths test. Now before you click out of this post, hear me out okay??

It was a lovely day, the birds were chirping and the sun was out. We were in a maths class. The teacher, a male in his late forties wearing jeans and a shirt entered the classroom. He looked at me with disappointed eyes and said, “Follow me.”

As instructed I followed him to his office where he showed me my script and I had gotten 76% or 72% I don’t really remember. “You failed the test” he said. “If you keep performing like this I will have no choice but to call your parents.” He continued. “Is there something wrong??,” he asked with concern.

I cried, like started sobbing uncontrollably. I had “failed” yet another test. My academics were just dropping like nobody’s business, not only in maths but in most of my subjects.

At that point in my life, staying alive felt too much and I couldn’t comprehend why. I didn’t tell anybody this. I would just wake up, go to school praying that I make it through the day without falling apart, come back and cry. I had symptoms of depression, I couldn’t eat, sleep or socialize. It was horrible.

As my marks continued dropping. I had to ask myself, “If I’m not the smartest person at my school, then who am I??”

See, at that point in my life. My marks were not part of my identity, they were my identity. I defined myself by the marks I got. To me, getting good marks meant I was smart and that was my only identity. When that was going away, I freaked out because without good marks. Am I even me??

After several months, I mustered the strength to go looking for answers. I learnt who I was and started building some parts of my identity. I started my first blog, started meditating, started taking control of my life. Of course I still strived to be the best student I could but this time, failure hit less intensely as it no longer defined who I was.

I am still struggling with this to this day.l still struggle to separate my identity from my marks and I am still learning.

That’s my story unfiltered. Thank you so much for reading.

I love you so much❤️